Recall Notice

ATTENTION!

God, the Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make, model, or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been identified as “Subsequential Internal Non-morality,” more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:

  • Loss of direction
  • Foul vocal emissions
  • Amnesia of origin
  • Lack of peace and joy
  • Selfish or violent behavior
  • Depression or confusion
  • Fearfulness
  • Idolatry
  • Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service, free of charge, to correct this defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is:

P-R-A-Y-E-R

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, JESUS, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, JESUS will replace it with the following:

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Goodness
  • Faithfulness
  • Gentleness
  • Self-control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the installation and application of these fixes.

WARNING – Continuing to operate the human being without these necessary corrections, will void ALL manufacturer warranties. Additionally, this will expose the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in permanent impoundment of the human being. For free 24-hour emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER – Any human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace of Hell. The S.I.N. defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven, in order to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your prompt and urgent attention to this matter!

P.S. Please assist with this urgent message whenever or wherever possible, by notifying others of this important recall notice. You may contact the Father any time by ‘Knee Mail’!

BECAUSE HE LIVES!

Category: 
Remnant Issue: 

Other Articles

An Introduction to The Medical Column

by Wolfgang Miggiani MD


Dr. Miggiani has graciously agreed to write a medical column in each issue of this magazine, as the Lord leads and gives direction. The main focus of this column will be to look at medical issues from a Biblical perspective and endeavor to...

The Greater Danger

by Thieleman J. van Braght

THERE IS AT THIS TIME,
THAN IN THE BLOODY AND DISTRESSING
TIMES OF THE MARTYRS


Introduction


You know that big, fat book on your bookshelf? Yeah, the one you take down and read a little from every couple of years. Yes, I’m talking...

Know Them Which Labor Among You

by John D. Risser


KJV ~ “And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves.” (I Thessalonians 5:12-13...